All About Bullying: Definition, Health Effects, and How to Stop It
Bullying has been part of schools, workplaces, and plenty of other social spheres for a long time — so much so that you may discount it as normal, expected, or even a right of passage in certain contexts.
Health professionals want to change that paradigm. They say that such behavior should not be shrugged off or allowed to persist.
“Addressing bullying with a dismissive attitude or treating it as an inevitable part of life are not appropriate responses for administrators, coaches, or leaders,” says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, a clinical counselor who specializes in trauma and relationships and the owner of Lotus Therapy in Vancouver, Canada.
Such an approach can perpetuate a culture of silence and acceptance around bullying behaviors, potentially exacerbating the issue and leading to long-term negative impacts on those involved, she explains.
The same report states that bullied children are twice as likely to skip school and more likely not to go to college compared with their peers, and that being bullied is associated with low self-esteem, depression, and self-harm among children.
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If you or a loved one is experiencing bullying, here’s what you need to know.
The APA’s definition of bullying specifies that the aggressive or abusive bullying behavior must be persistent and ongoing — it’s not a single interaction.
“At its core, bullying is characterized as an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships. It manifests through repeated verbal, physical, and social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, or psychological harm,” explains Jason Walker, PsyD, PhD, an associate professor at Adler University, where his research focuses on workplace bullying and harassment.
Bullying can take place in a wide variety of settings, including at school, work, and home; online or via other digital platforms; and in social environments like groups or clubs. And it can affect people of all ages. While the setting may change, the intention is the same, Dr. Walker says: “Bullying behavior is designed to intimidate and harm others, creating an environment of fear, terror, and distress.”
There’s no single reason for a person to engage in bullying behavior.
Some turn to the concept that “hurt people hurt people” to explain what leads someone to be a bully.
If a bully is dealing with (or has previously experienced) issues in their own life that are painful or difficult, they may use bullying behaviors to seek out or display power or control, explains Jephtha Tausig, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City. “Some bullies take out their unhappiness, frustration, anger, or sadness on others. Some even derive pleasure from others’ unhappiness or pain. Some bullies are perpetuating what they have witnessed or experienced in their own environments.”
Although there’s less research looking at the reasons behind adult bullying (compared with adolescents), it’s clear that someone who bullies in childhood is more likely than others to do the same in adulthood.
Walker says that individuals who bully may seek out situations that make bullying behavior easier to engage in. “Positions of authority, particularly in structures with significant power differentials, can exacerbate the potential for bullying, with those lower in the hierarchy finding it challenging to defend themselves or escape the situation,” Walker says.
“Common to all forms of bullying is the negative psychological impact that includes manipulation and intimidation tactics aimed at instilling fear in the target. Each form can impact an individual’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being,” Walker says.
Physical bullying calls back the image of the schoolyard bully threatening to beat up a smaller student for their lunch money. Walker says that it includes aggressive and assaultive behavior such as hitting, kicking, or pushing, which can result in both physical injury and long-term psychological trauma.
It can happen in adult scenarios, too, however. Damaging someone else’s belongings or property are examples, Esmaeilpour says. And the same behaviors of hitting, punching, or being physically aggressive toward others happen among adults and can be considered bullying as well, she says.
Verbal bullying is any ongoing verbal interaction that may include name-calling, insults, and offensive or abusive comments. The comments can be subtle or blatant, and can inflict serious emotional harm.
Common examples include making derogatory comments about someone’s appearance, religion, ethnicity, or sexuality, Esmaeilpour says.
“Passive-aggressive bullying is problematic due to its elusive nature, making detection difficult,” says Monika Roots, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and the co-founder and president of Bend Health, a virtual pediatric and family mental health care company.
Just because it’s harder to identify doesn’t make it less harmful. “The emotional impact includes stress and self-doubt, undermining relationships, and potentially escalating conflicts. Persistent exposure can harm mental health and reduce a child’s productivity at school,” Dr. Roots explains.
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While verbal, physical, and passive-aggressive bullying take place during in-person social interactions, the internet has created a new realm for bullying.
“Cyberbullying is a more modern and pervasive form that occurs through digital platforms by creating and sharing harmful or private content about someone to damage their credibility, cause embarrassment, and create psychological terror,” says Walker.
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The symptoms of bullying will vary depending on the type of bullying inflicted on the victim. While physical bullying may result in physical signs and symptoms, the other forms of bullying won’t necessarily have overt physical indications.
Walker and Roots point to the following potential signs and symptoms that can be the result of bullying:
The physical, emotional, and social impact of bullying is significant. Specifically, physical bullying can lead to immediate injury, whether minor or more severe. All bullying, regardless of type, can have emotional, psychological, and physical impacts that can last for years.
“Bullying has been linked to musculoskeletal complaints, sleep issues, headaches, and generalized physical pain,” says Walker.
Preventing bullying is possible, but there need to be resources and systems in place to do so.
The solution to preventing bullying involves prioritizing education and awareness programs, intervention, and surveillance.
“Creating clear, universal anti-bullying policies and a culture of safety will contribute to the overall well-being of our society,” Walker says. “Encouraging the mandatory reporting of bullying behavior and providing dedicated support services becomes part of a preventive public health mandate, akin to early intervention for any other health condition.”
When a child is being bullied, Esmaeilpour says that any adult who notices the bullying should report it to the relevant authority figure.
With adult bullying, she recommends encouraging the adult who’s being bullied to report it themselves to HR, an administrator, or whoever the appropriate person is.
In conjunction with such policies, Walker emphasizes the need for parents, school officials, and employers to work together to address bullying before it starts. “The conversation starts at home,” he says.
Walker says that parents can encourage good behaviors among their kids and discourage bullying behavior by:
Roots also emphasizes opening a dialogue about bullying with your children before there’s a known issue. “Chances are that your child will witness bullying in some capacity, or maybe they already have. It’s best they know they can always turn to you when things come up,” she says.
The steps to address bullying vary slightly depending on whether it’s happening to you or to someone you love. If you’re the victim of bullying as an adolescent or adult, Walker suggests these actions:
If bullying is happening to your child, an adult you know, or another friend or family member, Walker says to try these approaches:
Roots emphasizes that it’s important to make sure that you or your loved one is receiving the mental health support needed to address emotional or psychological harm that’s taken place. “Children enduring bullying require guidance and support both at school and home. Listening to your child attentively and fostering an open dialogue about their experiences and observations is vital in providing the understanding and care they need,” Roots says.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has put together a comprehensive guide to child bullying, including fact sheets for parents, videos, research, and book suggestions.
This advocacy website (run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) has helpful resources on bullying, including how to identify different types and what the risks are of each. It also breaks down state and federal bullying laws so that you can learn more about your civil rights.
Like other organizations, Stomp Out Bullying has resources about bullying, its impacts, and what you can do to prevent or fight back against it. What we love about this group in particular is that many of these resources are geared toward child and teen bullying victims.
Because cyberbullying is a huge and growing issue, the Cybersmile Foundation is dedicated entirely to spreading more information about and working to prevent cyberbullying.
Helping Your Child When They’re Bullied
This free online video course is a great resource for parents who don’t know how to help their child being bullied or what to do about it. It’s taught by Melissa Lopez-Larson, MD, an Ohio-based psychiatrist.
This organization offers free, 24/7 support via text for those in any kind of crisis.
Stomp Out Bullying HelpChat Crisis Line
A free, confidential online chat for people between age 13 and 24 who are struggling with issues around bullying and cyberbullying.
If you or a loved one is experiencing significant distress or having thoughts about suicide and needs support, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. If you need immediate help, call 911.
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