The male orgasm isn’t as straightforward as it may seem. It’s a complex psychological and physiological process that involves a precise sequence of events between your brain, hormones, nerves, and muscles.
For some men, reaching a satisfying climax can be a challenge, whether that means it happens too quickly, takes too long, or feels different than it used to.
If you’re dealing with any of these issues, you’ll be relieved to know they’re common and often treatable. This guide breaks down the science of the male orgasm, including how it happens, potential difficulties, and what you can do to improve your experience.
Long before you feel anything physical, the journey to orgasm begins in your brain. When you see, touch, or even think of something that piques your sexual interest, the brain’s emotional and desire centers (the hypothalamus and limbic system) spring into action.
The primary hormone fueling this process is testosterone. It helps drive your libido (sex drive), supports nerve function, and regulates your mood — all key factors in having a healthy orgasm.
From the brain, your nervous system sends signals down the spinal cord to the blood vessels of the penis, triggering the release of nitric oxide.
“This chemical causes blood vessels in the penis to relax, allowing for increased blood flow and the formation of an erection,” says Justin Houman, MD, an assistant professor of urology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. “As blood flows into the erectile tissue (the corpora cavernosa), tiny valves close off the veins so blood can’t escape; this is what maintains the erection.”
On average, it takes between five and seven minutes for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate. However, every person is different, and this time frame can vary from under a minute to over half an hour.
As you become more aroused, two distinct events become imminent: orgasm and ejaculation. These are not the same thing. Orgasm is the intense feeling of pleasure centered in the brain, while ejaculation is the physical reflex of muscle contractions that release semen.
And they don't always happen together. It's possible to have an orgasm without releasing any semen, an experience known as a dry orgasm. This can occur for several reasons. Sometimes, as Stanton Honig, MD, chief of sexual medicine and reproductive health at Yale School of Medicine in New Haven, Connecticut, explains, the ejaculate travels backward into the bladder instead of out of the penis. "This is called retrograde ejaculation," he says. A dry orgasm can also be caused by certain medications, previous surgeries, or specific health conditions.
The ability to separate orgasm from ejaculation is how some men experience multiple orgasms. While less common than for women, Dr. Houman says that it’s possible, “especially if they learn to control ejaculation and sustain arousal.” This allows a man to bypass the typical recovery phase, or refractory period, that usually follows ejaculation, making another orgasm possible in a short amount of time.
The main differences between a male and female orgasm are less about the sensation itself and more about the body’s mechanics and what happens afterward.
“Male and female orgasm contractions are indistinguishable,” says Nicole Prause, a sexual psychophysiologist, a neuroscientist, and the founder of Liberos, an independent research institute in Los Angeles. “You cannot tell from the contractile patterns alone if they are male or female.”
Men typically enter a refractory period, or a recovery phase, where another orgasm isn’t immediately possible. This can last anywhere from a few minutes to several hours. Women, however, don’t have this built-in waiting time, which makes it possible for them to experience multiple orgasms in close succession.
Another difference has to do with the physical components of the orgasm. For men, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, although they usually happen together. For women, the orgasm is a climax of sensation without ejaculation, even though some women do experience fluid release.
Finally, the experience itself can feel different. Women often report that their orgasms last longer or come in waves, while a male orgasm is typically experienced as a single, intense peak.
The male orgasm includes four phases: desire, arousal (plateau), orgasm, and resolution.
Desire
Everything starts with desire, which includes physical sensations, thoughts, fantasies, and visual stimuli. This stimulus, whatever it may be, causes the brain to send signals via the pelvic nerves to release neurotransmitters like nitric oxide in the penile tissue. “This is the go signal for erection,” says Martina Ambardjieva, MD, a urologist at Dr Telx, a telehealth platform.
Nitric oxide acts as a vasodilator (which relaxes blood vessels), causing increased blood flow to the penis. As the penis fills with blood, the veins that normally allow blood to drain out are squeezed shut, trapping the blood inside to create a firm erection. You might also notice the scrotum pulling closer to the body as muscles throughout your body begin to tense up.
Arousal (Plateau)
During this stage, which can last from a few seconds to a couple of minutes, your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing become even more rapid.
Muscle tension throughout your body continues to build, and you may notice involuntary movements beginning, particularly in the pelvic area. The tip of the penis can become highly sensitive, and a clear, preejaculatory fluid may be released. This fluid helps change the pH balance of the urethra, creating a better environment for sperm to survive.
Orgasm
The orgasm is the climax of the sexual response cycle. While it feels like a single intense event, the physical process actually happens in two stages.
The first stage, emission, is the point of no return. During this stage, the vas deferens (the tube that stores and transports sperm) contracts to move semen into the urethra at the base of the penis. At this point, ejaculation is inevitable.
The second stage is expulsion, or the ejaculation itself. This is when you feel a series of powerful, rhythmic muscle contractions that force the semen out of the penis. Dr. Ambardjieva explains that these are “rhythmic contractions in the pelvic floor muscles, vas deferens, seminal vesicles, and prostate.”
She adds that this process is what leads to the climax. “This propulsion moves semen into the urethra and out through ejaculation, typically coinciding with peak sexual pleasure,” she says. “That’s the climax, and it’s more of a spinal reflex than many people realize.”
Resolution and the Refractory Period
Once the orgasm has passed, your body begins to return to its prearoused state. The muscles relax, blood pressure drops, and heart rate and breathing slow down. You may also feel drowsy.
Most men enter a refractory, or recovery, period at this stage. During this time, it’s physiologically impossible to achieve another erection or orgasm. The refractory time frame varies from person to person but can range from a few minutes to 24 hours; the time needed usually grows longer with age.
“Anxiety, depression, and performance pressure can interfere with the brain-body connection needed for orgasm,” says José Ramirez, a licensed mental health counselor and certified sex therapist with the Psychology Group in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He explains that psychological stress can sometimes shut down this connection to protect the psyche.
Here are some of the most common orgasm-related issues that men face.
Anorgasmia and Delayed Ejaculation
“Anorgasmia” is the medical term for being unable to reach orgasm, even with plenty of stimulation. A less severe but related issue is delayed ejaculation, which is when it takes a very long time to reach orgasm.
The causes can be both physical and psychological. Some of the most common physical factors include the following:
Nerve Damage Conditions like diabetes or injuries to the spine or pelvis from surgery can interfere with the necessary nerve signals.
Hormonal Imbalances Low testosterone can reduce libido and the intensity of arousal needed for orgasm.
Prostate Conditions An enlarged prostate can physically disrupt the ejaculation process.
On the psychological side, what’s happening in your head can also impact your ability to reach orgasm.
“Performance anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and self-criticism sabotage sexual pleasure,” says Michael Stokes, a licensed professional counselor, a sex therapist, and the founder of Stokes Counseling in Naugatuck, Connecticut. “A lot of men are so stuck in logistics — ‘Am I hard enough?’ ‘Will I last?’ ‘Is this position working?’ — that they miss the experience of pleasure entirely. That mental preoccupation is often the hidden cause of both premature ejaculation and anorgasmia.”
Dry Orgasm
Anejaculation, or a dry orgasm, is an orgasm with little to no semen. There’s still a climax with pleasurable sensations, but the ejaculation is minimal or nonexistent. This is different from not being able to orgasm at all. One of the most common causes is the surgical removal of the prostate (prostatectomy).
Dry orgasm occurs because the prostate gland and seminal vesicles, which produce most of the fluid in semen, have been removed. Other causes can include nerve damage or blocked ducts.
Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation (PE) involves ejaculating sooner than desired during sexual activity. It’s a common complaint; some estimates suggest that it affects as many as 1 in 3 men at some point in their lives.
Sometimes there isn't one single, clear reason for it. The cause may be psychological or due to biological factors, such as hormone levels, the balance of brain chemicals (neurotransmitters), or inflammation in the prostate or urethra.
Your personal habits can also be a factor. Jennifer Litner, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist, a sexologist, and the founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness in Chicago, says that a common nonmedical reason for PE is a fast masturbation pattern that’s difficult to override with a partner. In other words, if you always rush to orgasm during solo sex, it may be hard to slow things down later on.
Retrograde Ejaculation
Retrograde ejaculation is when semen travels backward into the bladder instead of through the penis during an orgasm. Even though little or no semen comes out, you still experience the full, pleasurable feeling of a climax.
This happens when the muscle at the opening of your bladder, which is supposed to squeeze shut during orgasm, doesn’t tighten correctly. The good news is that it isn’t harmful to your health. The main issue is that it can cause infertility, since the sperm can’t leave the body to fertilize an egg. The two telltale signs are a dry orgasm and cloudy urine right after sex.
Potential causes of retrograde ejaculation include prostate problems, prostate surgery for an enlarged prostate, taking certain medications, having diabetes, or birth defects of the urethra or bladder neck.
If you're dealing with any of these issues, it's important to talk with a doctor or a certified therapist. They can help figure out the underlying cause and recommend a treatment plan that's right for you.
“Ejaculatory challenges are common and treatable,” says Amy Pearlman, MD, a board-certified urologist specializing in male sexual and hormonal health in Coral Gables, Florida. “Don’t settle for just dealing with it — the sexual medicine field is constantly evolving and innovative therapies are becoming increasingly available.”
Treating Anorgasmia and Delayed Ejaculation
The goal here is to restore the ability to climax by addressing the physical or psychological barriers that are getting in the way.
A doctor may suggest these treatments:
Sex Therapy A therapist can help address performance anxiety, stress, and other psychological factors. They might use techniques like sensate focus, which involves touch-based exercises that remove the pressure to perform and help you reconnect with physical pleasure. “Reducing porn consumption, vibrational therapy, and even red light therapy can help — each in the right context, depending on the individual,” says Dr. Pearlman.
Off-Label Medication Pearlman says that sometimes medications are used off-label to help with orgasm. For delayed ejaculation, she says that some men may benefit from medications like flibanserin (Addyi) or bremelanotide (Vyleesi).
Adjusting Medications If a medication is causing problems, a doctor may adjust the dose or switch to a different drug.
Treating Premature Ejaculation
For PE, treatment focuses on gaining control and delaying orgasm for longer.
A doctor may suggest these treatments:
Behavioral Techniques Doctors and therapists often recommend pause-squeeze techniques. These exercises help you learn to recognize the sensations leading up to orgasm and give you more control.
Pelvic Floor Exercises Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles (with exercises like Kegels) can improve ejaculatory control. However, these exercises should only be done under medical guidance, says Andrés Suro, a resident sexologist at the male sexual health brand Myhixel. “Overtraining or misusing these exercises can cause pelvic tension and pain, and even contribute to premature ejaculation in some cases,” says Suro.
Medication Pearlman isn’t a fan of prescribing daily SSRIs to help with PE because of their side effects. Instead, she recommends PDE5 inhibitors, such as sildenafil (Viagra) or tadalafil (Cialis).
Topical Delay Sprays Over-the-counter creams and sprays containing numbing agents like lidocaine can be applied to the penis to reduce sensitivity and help delay climax.Pearlman says these can be “game changers.”
Treating Dry Orgasm and Retrograde Ejaculation
The approach here depends on the underlying cause and whether you're trying to have children.
A doctor may suggest these treatments:
Sperm Retrieval If you and your partner are trying to conceive, Dr. Honig recommends seeing a reproductive urologist for sperm retrieval. The sperm can then be used for artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization.
Medication If nerve damage is the reason for retrograde ejaculation, whether it’s from diabetes, multiple sclerosis, or other conditions, a doctor may prescribe medications to help the bladder neck muscle stay closed during orgasm.
Houman says additional testing, like penile Doppler ultrasounds, semen analysis, and postejaculate urinalysis, can also help determine the cause and inform next steps.
For many men, achieving a more intense orgasm is about maximizing pleasure and deepening intimacy with a partner. A powerful orgasm triggers the release of feel-good neurochemicals like endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin, which can improve mood, reduce stress, and provide a stronger sense of connection.
To get there, experts recommend engaging both the body and mind to build sexual tension, strengthen the relevant muscles, and remove barriers like stress or muted sensations.
Here are some effective methods.
Kegel Exercises and Pelvic Floor Health
Pelvic floor exercises, or Kegels, aren’t just for women. The physical sensations you feel during orgasm are produced by these muscles. Stronger muscles can lead to more powerful contractions and more intense sensations.
“Kegel exercises are actually included in medical guidelines for improving pelvic floor strength, which can enhance orgasm control and intensity,” says Ambardjieva. Just remember that overdoing pelvic floor exercises may result in pelvic tension, pain, or even premature ejaculation. Consulting a healthcare professional for guidance on proper technique and frequency is a must.
Edging and Orgasm Control
Edging is the practice of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm, then backing off to let the sensation subside before building arousal again. By prolonging the arousal phase and building greater sexual tension, the final release can feel much more explosive and satisfying.
“Edging helps retrain the ejaculatory reflex and builds arousal,” says Houman. “And prostate stimulation, when done safely, can create deeper, more prolonged orgasms because the prostate is densely innervated and contracts during climax.”
Breathing and Stress Management
Chronic stress is a known pleasure killer. To avoid what Stokes calls “mental preoccupation,” specific breathing exercises can help you stay grounded in your body. Deep, intentional breathing increases blood flow and calms the nervous system. Integrating preventive stress management through exercise, mindfulness, or hobbies creates the right physiological state for peak pleasure.
Explore Different Forms of Stimulation
Moving beyond routine stimulation can help you build a more complex and intense orgasmic experience.
For men, Stokes says this could mean incorporating prostate massage (the P-spot, or male G-spot), which directly stimulates the prostate gland and can lead to intense pleasure.Alternatively, using a penis vibrator may help.
“Stimulating the prostate can produce powerful, full-body orgasms,” says Stokes. “It’s not for everyone, but medically, it’s a valid and safe technique when done correctly.”
Exploring other sensitive areas like the nipples, scrotum, perineum, and inner thighs can add new layers of sensation that heighten the overall experience.
“Sexual challenges are common, and they’re treatable,” says Stokes. “Most men struggle in silence because of shame or outdated beliefs about what sex should look like, but your pleasure, your orgasm, and your relationship to sex belong to you, not to anyone else’s definition.”
If you're experiencing ongoing issues with orgasm, whether that means you're finishing too early, can't reach climax at all, or feel pain when you do, it's best to consult a healthcare professional for a thorough evaluation and personalized recommendations.
A doctor's visit is about finding what's behind the issue. They'll help you explore the possible causes, from your physical health and current medications to psychological factors like stress, and then suggest the most appropriate treatments or lifestyle changes for you.
“It’s never too early or too late to talk to a healthcare provider about concerns with ejaculation — whether it's happening too soon, too late, or not at all,” says Pearlman. “However, not all providers are trained to handle this. You want someone who specializes in sexual medicine.”
Your mind and body both play a huge part in your orgasm, which is why common issues like finishing too soon or taking too long are often linked to a treatable mix of stress, anxiety, or your physical health.
You can take an active role in improving your sexual experience through techniques like behavioral exercises for ejaculatory control and edging for more intense orgasms. Lifestyle adjustments like managing stress and practicing breathing techniques can help, too.
If something feels off with your orgasm consistently, talking to a doctor is a smart move. Your best bet for effective treatment is a provider who specializes in sexual medicine.
